While The Boyfriend and I technically broke up back in July, we of course, have still been living together. We’ve been going back and forth for what, 2 years now? Definitely since our big move in March.
I made a call to the apartment complex today to downsize apartments. He’s wanted to move in with his brother and has been telling his family this for awhile. He’s so depressed that all he does is sleep during the day and watch movies at night. He’s flunking his classes. No focus. I wish I could help him. My heart hurts for him, but I know I need to take care of me. Perhaps us splitting will take care of him too. *sigh*
So many changes right now. A colleague of mine today confided that he’s thought I needed to walk away for a long time now. That I could do better. I wish there wasn’t better. Part of me wishes The Boyfriend was the one. Five years is a long time to invest in a relationship. It really sucks.
My heart hurts so much and making the break will sting while alleviate a lot of angst and anxiety in my life. I’ve never liked being alone, even if I was with assholes. Ugh. Between work stress, car issues, and The Boyfriend saga, I’m having a hard time figuring out which direction to move in first.
To deal with the stress and anxiety, I’m turning to my old favorite standby… the gym. I’ve been spending anywhere from one to two hours in the gym daily for the past week or so. Not quite seeing results yet, but I certainly do feel it. I would like to lose 15lbs. 20lbs would be nice, but I’d be happy with 15lbs. So not drinking much alcohol, eliminating almost all breads/pastas/etc, and eating tons of veggies, fruit, fish, and nuts.
Guess this is Project Anarla time.
