Exhausted Boobies

I’m so freaking tired and exhausted. The trip last week wore me out physically and emotionally. I hate flying these days too in a way I never have before.

Tonight I’m doing research online about mammograms, ultrasounds, and breast biopsies. My OB in Los Angeles found a lump in my left breast back in March, but I kind of brushed it off since I knew it was getting close to my period and I tend to ummmm, get firmer during that time.

About a month ago, I checked in with a new family doctor here (my new OB can’t see me until July out here) to get it double checked. She actually didn’t think it was anything (I swear she’s younger than me so maybe not much practical experience) but to make me feel better, sent me off for a mammogram and ultrasound. I went in to the Radiology Center the Thursday (May 29th) before I found out about my brother’s accident (incidentally, he was probably in the ER when I was getting my exams done). The radiologist himself came in right then to look at my mammogram and ultrasound, but also had the tech do another ultrasound live of my breasts with him watching. He recommended a biopsy immediately and said he would be calling my doctor the next day with his findings.

Then I got the news about my brother the next morning and I pretty much just tabled the thoughts about my boobies. Now that I’ve rested and unpacked from my trip, I’m tense with agony over the biopsy. The official impersonal letter from the Radiology Clinic received by mail today didn’t help either. I couldn’t get the doctor’s assistant to call me back today (I spoke with her last week when I was in NC) to schedule the biopsy and I really just want this done. As far as I can tell, 80% of breast biopsies come back with benign results. However, the results from diagnostic mammograms (versus the annual screening one older women have) tend to have a higher percentage of malignancy results though I can’t really find any good statistics on that either. I’m a logical numbers person so I always go for the statistics.

I just want this done. I hate needles and am dreading the biopsy (you are wide awake for it, pass me the Valium please!), but The Boyfriend swears he’ll take me there and back. This week is his finals week so hopefully we can squeeze everything in. We’re just so stinking busy right now with his school, my work, catching up from me being out of town last week, and my health stuff that never seems to go away 100%. I’m hoping we’ll be up for a tubing trip at the Salt River next week. I’ve been dying to do that since we moved here.